Redemption
by ohfortuneslost
Summary: Redemption is hard to find, especially when you've done something unforgivable.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fabulous Southern Vampire Mystery characters, those belong to the also fabulous Ms. Harris.**

**Forgiveness, Prologue**

**Dedication: This is for the lovely ladies at Sookieverse, thanks for all the love and encouragement, this is for y'all. **

_Forgive me._

Every sigh she made, every toss of her golden locks, every moan she emitted hardened his heart and made him doubt himself all at once.

Her head was thrown back, her neck bared, and normally this sight enthralled him, but not tonight. Tonight he wanted to-needed to-see her eyes, lit up with life, the ecstasy, the joy, the love… for one last time.

_Forgive me._

He slid into her again, tenderly, very unlike their usual couplings, and he can tell she is confused, impatient. What he doesn't tell her, what he can't tell her, is how much he has longed to make love to her like this, slow and sweet. Worship her like the goddess she was, like she deserved to be. He should have told her then.

_Forgive me._

"What?" She moaned, lost in the sensations he was giving her, as he passed his lips gently over each beautiful breast.

He froze. He had not realized he had spoken aloud. This woman, this little girl compared to his many years on this planet unhinged him like no others before her.

She looked up at him with her angelic eyes, so loving and trusting. He should have told her then, but it was so much easier to shift into his façade, and heft a smirk onto his face, though he felt the effort would kill him. "Forgive me, for when I am done with you lover, you will no longer be able to walk tomorrow."

She moaned deeply at his words, a flush covering her whole body as she raised her hips to grind against his. He would miss her redness. He drifted her nose across her flawless skin; he would miss smelling the sunshine on her.

_Forgive me. Forgive me for being too weak, for being too much of a coward, my love, forgive me. Forgive me for not being able to let you go, for being too weak to go on without you. Forgive me for rather going another thousand years with you angry at me, than for living another thousand years alone, after you entered my life._

As she reached her climax, nails ripping across his back, he spoke the words that would doom them both, reveling in the pain. "Pamela, you may come in now."

He watched, as below him, pinned by him, unable to move, unwanting to move in her post-coital bliss, her eyes shot open, confused.

"Eric, what's going on?"

**A/N: So there you have it, my very first SVM story! I know, right now this sounds more than a little vague, but bear with me, there is a rhyme to my reason, and all will be explained in the coming chapters. I'm not expecting this to be a long story, probably anywhere from four to eight chapters, depends on how it plays out. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Happy Birthday, My Lover

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fabulous Southern Vampire Mystery characters, those belong to the also fabulous Ms. Harris.**

**Redemption, Chapter One**

**Happy Birthday, My Lover**

**Dedication: This is for the lovely ladies at Sookieverse, thanks for all the love and encouragement, this is for y'all. **

_100 years later._

It was her birthday. 100 years ago on this very day, she was turned on the orders of the man she loved. She sipped at her synthetic blood, looking out over the gorgeous night life of Stockholm. Up until she'd met him, she'd never left Bon Temps. How her world had changed.

She had initially gone to Sweden because it was the farthest from him that she could think, yet oddly enough the place where she felt closest to him. As an added plus, he wouldn't think to look here for a good long while, at least 25 years. This was the 25 year, and he was close, and she thought to herself how fitting it was that he would find her today of all days.

She couldn't believe at first that he'd let her go, but indeed he had, and she ran far and fast. She later learned from her Maker that he had only planned on giving her 20 years to herself, to calm down and stop resisting him.

He had not counted on the fact that she would calm down, but still not want to be anywhere near him, the _monster_ who had taken her humanity against her will, and never even apologized for it. Since the day he let her go, she ran and hadn't truly stopped running since, she merely stopped every now and again to catch her 'breath', so to speak.

Initially, she was sure; he had viewed their game of cat and mouse as just that: a game. But when the game never ended, after 50 years or so, his amusement wore off, and had avidly pursued her over the next half century, culminating to him finally finding her tonight, on her 100th birthday.

Very poetic, she mused to herself.

She had managed to keep several steps ahead, but he was getting better at guessing her next location, figuring out her pattern, no matter how random she tried to keep it, he was a master strategist after all, and he had finally found her.

She closed her eyes, and just _felt. _

She smiled a grim smile. He was in the city, close, and getting closer with every passing minute that felt more like seconds.

She kept sensing for him until she could feel him right outside her luxury hotel. She set down her glass of blood, as she didn't want it spilling on the pristine white carpet, and she turned to face the door expectantly.

She didn't have to wait long, and the door flew open and off its hinges, slamming into the wall behind it, to reveal her six foot tall Viking, his long blonde hair swaying wildly from his speed, and his ice blue eyes flashing. He paused for a millimeter of second to take her in, to make sure it was really her, before he flew at her, pinning her to the wall behind her.

She did not resist.

"_Du är min. Min slav. Min drottning. Min hora. Min tik. Min älskarinna. Min." _

"You are mine. My slave. My queen. My whore. My bitch. My mistress. Mine." And with that, he savagely bit into her neck, sparing no mercy, and she screamed out even as she spasmed with lust shooting through her.

He released her neck, with her still pinned to the wall, and bent down to capture her lips in a bruising kiss where she could taste her own blood.

"_Om jag vill att du ska känna glädje, du. Om jag vill straffa dig, kommer jag. Om jag vill hora dig, som den slampa du är, kommer jag. Tvivla aldrig på detta igen, jag rår."_

"If I want you to feel pleasure, you will. If I want to punish you, I will. If I want to whore you out, like the slut you are, I will. Never doubt this again, I am Master."

He shifted his hands so one mammoth hand was pinning her wrists together to the wall, and the other snaked down to rub ferociously on her nub.

She was crying, both from the pain and pleasure he was bringing her, and her humiliation at just sitting back and taking this treatment.

But she had given up, she had stopped running, this was nothing less than what she deserved.

By the time he was done with her, they had moved to her bed, and she was laying draped over his chest listlessly staring out the window. He unceremoniously dumped her off him, as he got off the bed, and pulled his pants on, not even bothering with his torn and ripped shirt.

"Come," He said imperiously, offering her a hand off the bed. "Our driver is waiting downstairs to take us to the airport where we will be in our coffins and well in the air on our flight back to the States by the time dawn comes.

She sat there, staring at his hand, dazed, but his eyes flashed dangerously in annoyance, so she quickly offered him her hand, and he pulled her up delicately, which made her scoff internally at him treating her gently after his little display.

But he surprised her by reaching down and tenderly kissing her, before wrapping his coat around her as an outfit that on her looked like a dowdy button up dress. He swung her into his arms, probably realizing that she was unable to walk, and then speeding her out of the broken door and into the lobby, where he only paused for a second to toss several bills of large denominations to the desk clerk, barking out "Room 216", and again speeding out to the waiting car.

He gently set her down in the luxury car and gave the signal to the driver to move, before wrapping himself tenderly around her and kissing the top of her head. "Happy Birthday my lover." He whispered to her. She flinched.

"What made you stop running from me?" He asked, still whispering, holding her hand and tracing light patterns on it with his index finger, giving her chills.

She turned her head to look out the window, at the city flashing by in a blur, much like her life before and after being turned, and simply said, "I got tired."

**A/N: Aren't you proud of me for posting another chapter so quickly? I demand a cookie for payment. I know that right now Eric doesn't seem very redemption seekery right now, but again, there is a rhyme to my reason, and all will be revealed eventually. Maybe even sooner than you think, because next chapter is an EPOV!! Now, I would have pmed this person, but it would seem that they do not possess an ff account, but I would like to thank one reviewer for saying how beautiful my writing is *blushes*. I would refer to you by name; however ff is being stupid, and won't let me see my reviews so I can't see your name. But you know who you are (hopefully). Thanks for reading!**


	3. At Last

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fabulous Southern Vampire Mystery characters, those belong to the also fabulous Ms. Harris.**

**Redemption, Chapter Two**

**At Last**

**Dedication: This is for the lovely ladies at Sookieverse, thanks for all the love and encouragement, this is for y'all. **

**As promised, Eric's point of view:**

**EPOV**

"I got tired."

She was tired? _She _was tired? What a load of shit! I had chased this woman, this temptress for 100 years, across the world, when by all rights, I didn't even have to!

I held her close to me, relishing in finally having her by my side at long last, I had missed her so much. My angel, my goddess, min älskare.

When she was turned, while I waited for her to Rise, I wept, silently pleading with her to forgive me, like I had right before the act. I needed her with me, and when the ground next to me began to shift, and Pam, Compton, and I leaned forward in anticipation, I braced myself for her anger.

And she held so much anger, anger at me for not loving her enough to let her go, at Bill for bringing her into our 'shit' as she put it, at Pam for not helping her, at herself, for not walking away.

A lot of the time, it broke my heart to see her in so much pain, but some nights, her anger, and her new found sexual energy combined into an explosive mixture… those nights were _fun._

I had her with me for five years, of those; she never spent a true moment of happiness with me. The moments she spent in ecstasy in my bed did not count, for she could not help those. She spent the first three in anger, in rage, and the final two; she spent in a sort of vampiric depression.

She fed only when necessary, oftentimes, it was forced feeding, she refused to have sex, would sleep for several days at a time, very unusual in a vampire, and her smile, her beautiful smile was no longer on display for all to see. She never laughed, smiled, grinned, smirked, flashed fang, or even cried, she closed off all emotions, and that more than anything terrified me, from such an expressive person.

It was at this point that Pam, Compton, and I began worrying that she would decide to meet the sun; her depression ran so deep, that we began to make plans to have what Pam said Dear Abby called an 'intervention'.

But I knew that was not what she really needed; she needed what I had been too weak and selfish to give to her before.

But her life was on the line, I would not make the same mistake again, I loved her far too much.

I loved her, so much, that I would let her go.

I brought her outside on her fifth birthday, leading her far from Fangtasia, far from her former home, deep into the woods and told her to run.

"_Will you follow?"_

She had asked quietly, while longingly staring past me, to the beyond that lay behind me, and my undead heart ached.

I had told her no, I would give her 10 years.

Despite this, I was confident that she would come back to me, I was confident that she would not run away, I was confident that she loved me.

Perhaps, I was too confident.

No, I looked down at her, at how well she molded into me, how could anyone that fit so perfectly with me not be meant to be mine? Surely she could see that? Feel what her soul knew, that her heart both living and undead had always denied? What I had always known?

When her ten years were up, I waited foolishly, and in vain, for her to show up. When she did not show up after six months and I could still feel her out there through the bond that she would not let me renew, I grew ferocious. According to Pam, my anger was quite a sight to behold. I suppose throwing my 'throne' through a brick wall might have been a little much, but I was blinded with rage, and disappointment.

But then I began to get eager, eager to have her back by my side, eager for the hunt, eager for the coupling that was inevitable upon our reunion, in short, I was eager.

It took longer than I expected, but what is 85 years of searching to a vampire of my age? And I could not help but be proud that she could avoid me for so long, even while I was disappointed that she was trying that hard to avoid me.

Besides, I was most eager to make amends.

What I hadn't counted on, which was unprecedented in all my years of having a chessboard in my head, was on the _anger_ I felt upon throwing her door open and seeing her standing there, staring at me expectantly.

She was beautiful of course, her blue eyes had a spark in them, her cheeks, a flush, it was everything I had hoped for, and I felt a pang that I was not the one who gave that to her.

Before I knew it, I was flying at her, pinning her into the wall, partaking her of her delicious blood, and kissing her, lust, both hers and mine, shooting through our bond, egging me on.

I meant every word I said. She was mine. She was always mine, even when she was with Compton and then the fucking tiger, and she would always be mine, even when she didn't realize it.

I began to pleasure her harshly, furiously, and fast, so fast, and she was crying, but moaning in pleasure, and reciprocating, she was pulling on my hair, clawing at my back, and we were both so alive in our desperation.

She was lying draped on my chest when I realized the time, and realized that we needed to leave. I moved her off me, put her in my clothes which made me rumble quietly in appreciation, so quietly that I'm sure she didn't even hear me.

I supposed I should regret my treatment of her, looking down at her, safe and secure, at my side at last, I wonder, how am I supposed to regret anything, when I finally at long last have her with me again?

**A/N: I hope you guys liked this, it gave me a lot of trouble, but all in all, not too shabby, I think. There will probably be another EPOV, if not next chapter, than the one after that. I do not usually ask for reviews, but I'm a little iffy on this chapter, so if you could let me know what you think, I would be much obliged. Thanks for reading!**


	4. Only Once

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fabulous Southern Vampire Mystery characters, those belong to the also fabulous Ms. Harris.**

**Redemption, Chapter Two**

**At Last**

**Dedication: This is for the lovely ladies at Sookieverse, thanks for all the love and encouragement, this is for y'all. **

**EPOV**

By the time our flight reached the outskirts of Shreveport, I was already rising, though the sun was still up, and waiting for it to set, so that I could greet Sookie.

I had missed her so much, and was sure that I would never let her leave my sight, but I was grateful that she was technically dead to the world. Ever since I had rushed back into her life, and she into mine, my mind had been going non-stop, and now was a perfect time to pause and reflect on the events of this past evening, and I of course had to call my lover's maker to let her know I had found her Child.

I dialed the familiar number and waited for her to pick up her cell, and I musingly thought about my decision to allow my own Child to turn my lover into one of the damned.

I really had no choice, I knew from experience how short lived maker-Child relationships can be, and I didn't want that happening to Sookie and I, and Pam seemed like the obvious candidate.

I heard the click signifying that she had picked up, and before I could address her, she spoke up, "You have found her. And hurt her." Her tone was flat, so I could pick up no emotions for her, whether or not she was pissed, nor did I care.

I spoke sharply to her. "Yes, I have found her, and while I may have hurt her, it was within my rights to do so."

She had nothing to say to me after that, because she knew I was right. I had laid claim to Sookie, Bonded to her, protected her, and she ran away from me, I was well within my bounds to hurt her, with or without her maker's permission.

It didn't hurt either, that I was her maker's maker.

Pam let out a long sigh that sounded like a hiss. "How may I assist you this evening, Master?"

That Pam. Whenever she was trying to temper my anger, she converted to the archaic ways, which she knew I always appreciated.

"We will be arriving at Fangtasia in two hours, I want you to have bottles of Royalty prepared, and pull out the ring catalog for her to peruse."

I barely acknowledged her assent, as from beneath the window shades, I was preoccupied by the sight of an almost set sun. It would be any moment now.

"And Pamela, make sure that her throne is empty when we arrive. If any fangbangers are seated on it, I will kill them, and then starve you for two weeks."

With that, I hung up, as I watched my lover's coffin lid begin to rise.

I closed my eyes, reveling in the peace before all hell broke loose.

My lover hated the 'pretension' of her throne, as she put it, using a former word of the day. She frequently called it, 'That damn chair'. But there was really no help for it, she was mine, as surely as I was hers, and we would sit next to each other, on equal levels.

I opened my eyes to see that she had already risen from her coffin, and was now staring at me with a concerned look on her face. I merely smirked at her and held my arms open for her.

She gave me a long, impassive stare before huffing a little in an adorable way and making her way over to me to sit in my lap and bury her nose in my neck and sniffing a little. I managed to suppress a shiver with great difficulty. _What she does to me…._

I placed a kiss on the top of her head, and felt her return it, by kissing my neck softly, sensuously. My fangs came down a little.

"So, now what?" She asked me, her voice muffled against my neck.

I chuckled a little, and I felt her shift to look up at me, and I braced myself for the scream she would let out after hearing my next words.

"So much has changed in the 85 years you've been abroad lover, you've missed many things. One of them is that Louisiana has made vampire marriages of any form, legal. We will be getting married tomorrow, later on tonight; you will pick out the ring you want."

I felt through the bond, shock, pure shock. My shock widened, and that more than anything, I think, set her off.

"How dare you Eric Northman? I haven't seen you in 95 years, 95 _years_, and then you show up, we have sex, and now you're not even _proposing_ to me, no! You're just _informing _me that I'm getting married! What if I don't want to get married?"

I raised an eyebrow to her. "I don't care." I said, and the flash of rage I felt was the only warning I had before she slapped me.

"You don't _care_?" She repeated incredulously.

"No, I don't care." I pulled her in for a kiss, and I felt her resist for a moment, before she acquiesced, and with a sweep of my tongue across her lips, she allowed me entrance. We stayed like that for a moment, sweetly kissing, until I broke it off. She leaned back from me with wide eyes, touching her lips wonderingly. When I felt she was properly dazed from my kiss, and would no longer interrupt me, I decided it would be safe to continue.

"Now listen carefully lover, because I will only tell you all this once. I love you. The 95 years that we were apart were torture to me. As the years went on and I couldn't find you, I began to get more and more desperate until Pamela had to watch me carefully for fear that I would try and commit suicide. I changed you, not because I wanted your telepathic powers for eternity, but because I wanted _you_ for eternity. I was selfish, and I'm sorry, but I have all the time in the world to make it up to you, and hope that one day you will find it in yourself to forgive me. But, my love, you should know that I will never apologize for loving you so much that I never wanted to let you go. So yes, I am _informing _you that we are to be married, because I am that selfish to never let you go. The supernatural world knows that you are mine, and now I want you to be mine in the eyes of the law."

By the time I was done with my speech, she had tears in her eyes.

"My lover, say something." I was concerned by her silence, and what it might mean.

"You said that you would only say all that once. Does that mean you'll only tell me you love me once?"

I couldn't help it; I burst out laughing. "My love, I will tell you I love you every minute of every hour of every day of every year, if that would please you. I only meant that I would only make that speech once."

She laughed as well, just before jumping into my arms and kissing me ferociously.

**A/N: Again, I feel a little iffy about this chapter, but apparently y'all really liked Eric's point of view from the last chapter. I hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter as well. I'm sorry it took so long to update, but next chapter will be the last chapter, and I was writing the first chapter for my new story which I will tell you more about next chapter. Thanks for reading!**

**Playlist:**

**Unbelievable by the Sleepy Rebels**


	5. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I do not own the fabulous Southern Vampire Mystery characters, those belong to the also fabulous Ms. Harris.**

**Redemption, Chapter Two**

**At Last**

**Dedication: This is for the lovely ladies at Sookieverse, thanks for all the love and encouragement, this is for y'all. **

**EPOV**

Our ceremony was short and sweet, officiated by my Child, and my lover's Maker. The only guests in attendance were the various vampires in my retinue-now hers, as she would officially be my mate, my equal.

Her various friends and relatives had died over the years, so the one to give her away was Bill, much to his displeasure, and sorrow. I frequently flashed a smirk at him whenever my love wasn't looking.

I never said I wouldn't gloat.

Pam officiated, and to strengthen our bond once more we both bled into a chalice, cut with the sacred bond with which we were pledged; and we both drank from the chalice.

The reception was markedly shorter, and not nearly as sweet, consisting mainly of us accepting congratulations, more gloating in front of Bill, and thanking our guests for coming before we made our hasty exit.

The drinking of our mingled blood not only served to reinforce our bond, but to ignite my lust, and for the sake of her wedding, I contained myself throughout the ceremony, but once that was over with, I no longer felt the need to contain myself.

We spent that night making sweet, passionate love.

It is now 100 years later, and there has not been a single day since our wedding that we have not had an argument, be it big or small.

But she has not run from me, because she knows I will not let her, but mainly because she has never wanted to.

I have finally been redeemed.

**A/N: And so it ends! I hoped y'all enjoyed, personally, this is my favorite chapter, even though it is really short. I really liked the ending, but that's just me. What did you guys think? Let me know! I'm very pleased with the response to Nothing Personal, and if at all possible, will be posting another chapter tomorrow. Sookie's point of view, yay! Thanks for reading!**


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